On 8/9/2017 10:03 AM, Jeremy Silver wrote:
{Qo'! ...Qo'! bInarghlaHbe'. ghe''or tIqvo', SoHvaD jIDuQ; jImuSchu'mo', SoHvaD tlhuHwIj Qav vItuy'.}
I want this to remain poetic, but replacing {ghe''or tIqvo'} with {ghe''or qoDvo'} is already considered. I'm also choosing {SoHvaD jIDuQ} on purpose to indicate a stab in your general direction as opposed to a direct hit. Does this work?
I can go with *tIq;* Klingons talk about hearts non-literally all the time. To me, *SoHvaD jIDuQ* says /I stab for your benefit./ *-vaD* doesn't have any sense of /general direction./ You can just use a locative: *SoHDaq jIDuQ* /I stab at/to you./ If you had said *qaDuQ* I would agree it was wrong. You might also want to change the second *SoHvaD* to *SoHDaq*. -- SuStel http://trimboli.name