{Qo'! ...Qo'! bInarghlaHbe'. ghe''or tIqvo', SoHvaD jIDuQ; jImuSchu'mo', 
SoHvaD tlhuHwIj Qav vItuy'.}

I want this to remain poetic, but replacing {ghe''or tIqvo'} with {ghe''or 
qoDvo'} is already considered. I'm also choosing {SoHvaD jIDuQ} on purpose to 
indicate a stab in your general direction as opposed to a direct hit. Does 
this work?

I can go with tIq; Klingons talk about hearts non-literally all the time.

To me, SoHvaD jIDuQ says I stab for your benefit. -vaD doesn't have any sense of general direction. You can just use a locative: SoHDaq jIDuQ I stab at/to you. If you had said qaDuQ I would agree it was wrong.

You might also want to change the second SoHvaD to SoHDaq.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name