On 8/23/2019 1:19 PM, mayqel qunen'oS wrote:
Then hate overcame Fëanor’s fear, and he cursed Melkor and bade him be gone, saying: ‘Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!’ And he shut the doors of his house in the face of the mightiest of all the dwellers in Eä.
tlh: wa'DIch ghIj feanor, 'ach tagha' muSqu'choHmo', melkor tIchmeH 'ej mejmoHmeH HoS Suq. vaj jatlh:
lojmItwIjvo' yIghoS, mandos bIghHa' notqa' !
ea nganpu''e', melkor Dun law' Hoch Dun puS; 'ach, feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq QamtaHvIS melkor, ghaHvaD lojmItmeyvam SoQmoH feanor.
discussion:
This is the best I could do.
After finishing this, and reading your translation, I have to comment:
1st:
I liked *a lot* your {Melkor 'IghmoH}. Sadly it didn't come to my mind while I was writing my version.
2nd:
SuStel:
Eä DabwI''e' Melkor HoSghaj law' Hoch HoSghaj puS;
Initially I thought of using {DabwI'}, but I went with {ngan} because I didn't know which was actually closer to "dwellers". My mind decided to go with {ngan}.
*ngan* works too.
However, I'm puzzled with your choice of {HoSghaj}. In english, is "mighty" closer to "powerful", or closer to "greatest" ?
It means showing great power or strength. When Tolkien says that Melkor was the mightiest of the Ainur, he means Melkor was literally the most powerful.
3rd:
SuStel:
DabwI'vam qab tlhopDaq
I thought of this too, but I wondered whether the "he shut the doors of his house in the face of" was to be taken literally or metaphorically.
I considered this carefully. /In the face of/ has an idiomatic meaning of /when confronted with/ or /despite./ But here the meaning is very nearly completely literal: Melkor is standing before the doors, and Fëanor shuts them, the shutting taking place immediately in front of Melkor's face. The English expression also includes a connotation of rudeness that doesn't necessarily come across in the Klingon unless you think about it carefully, but I don't offhand know of any Klingon expression that would elegantly express both rudeness and the shutting of a door immediately in front of someone.
4th:
jIH:
feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq QamtaHvIS melkor
I wondered whether I could write too:
{feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq ghaHtaHvIS melkor'e'}
And I still wonder whether that would be correct too..
Sure, both of those are correct. -- SuStel http://trimboli.name