Then hate overcame Fëanor’s fear, and he cursed Melkor and bade him be gone, saying: ‘Get thee gone from my gate, thou jail-crow of Mandos!’ And he shut the doors of his house in the face of the mightiest of all the dwellers in Eä.

tlh:

wa'DIch ghIj feanor, 'ach tagha' muSqu'choHmo', melkor tIchmeH 'ej mejmoHmeH HoS Suq. vaj jatlh:

lojmItwIjvo' yIghoS, mandos bIghHa' notqa' !

ea nganpu''e', melkor Dun law' Hoch Dun puS; 'ach, feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq QamtaHvIS melkor, ghaHvaD lojmItmeyvam SoQmoH feanor.

discussion:

This is the best I could do.

After finishing this, and reading your translation, I have to comment:

1st:

I liked *a lot* your {Melkor 'IghmoH}. Sadly it didn't come to my mind while I was writing my version.

2nd:

SuStel:

> Eä DabwI''e' Melkor HoSghaj law' Hoch HoSghaj puS; 

Initially I thought of using {DabwI'}, but I went with {ngan} because I didn't know which was actually closer to "dwellers". My mind decided to go with {ngan}.

ngan works too.

However, I'm puzzled with your choice of {HoSghaj}. In english, is "mighty" closer to "powerful", or closer to "greatest" ?

It means showing great power or strength. When Tolkien says that Melkor was the mightiest of the Ainur, he means Melkor was literally the most powerful.

3rd:

SuStel:

> DabwI'vam qab tlhopDaq 

I thought of this too, but I wondered whether the "he shut the doors of his house in the face of" was to be taken literally or metaphorically.

I considered this carefully. In the face of has an idiomatic meaning of when confronted with or despite. But here the meaning is very nearly completely literal: Melkor is standing before the doors, and Fëanor shuts them, the shutting taking place immediately in front of Melkor's face. The English expression also includes a connotation of rudeness that doesn't necessarily come across in the Klingon unless you think about it carefully, but I don't offhand know of any Klingon expression that would elegantly express both rudeness and the shutting of a door immediately in front of someone.

4th:

jIH:

> feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq QamtaHvIS melkor 

I wondered whether I could write too:

{feanor juH lojmItmeyDaq ghaHtaHvIS melkor'e'}

And I still wonder whether that would be correct too..

Sure, both of those are correct.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name