This started off as a joke that went a little too far. It’s probably not a great translation, but it was fun nevertheless. Consider yourself lucky if you don’t recognize what it is. taw tIq vIlengpu', pa'vo naDev vIpawmeH. poH nI' jItuvqu'; tagha’ DaH paw poHwIj'e'! I have traveled a long road, In order for me to arrive here from there. I was very patient for a long time; Finally, now MY TIME has arrived! 'ej DaH'e' SuSDaq choH vIjemlaHbejtaH, chal vIHotchoHlaH, DaH muwaQbe’choHba' vay' 'e' vISov, 'ej vay'mo' latlh DoS vIbuSQo'! And NOW I am certainly able to sense a change in the wind, I have become able to touch the sky, I know that now anyone is obviously no longer able to obstruct me, And I refuse to focus on another target because of anybody! tIq voqghach vIghajmo', muDevmo' tIq, vogh vIjaHtaH, Hoch vIchavlaH 'e' vIHar 'e’ vIvoqqu'bejtaH Because I have heart faith, Because the heart leads me, I am going somewhere, I am certainly trusting very much That I believe that I can achieve everything. HoSqu' qa'wIj net Sov, muSIHlaH pagh, 'ej mughorlaH pagh, Hoch Hovmey vIpawlaH tIq voqghach, tIq voqghach, voqghach vIghajmo’… It is known that my spirit is very strong, Nobody will bend me, and nobody will break me, I can arrive at any star Heart faith, heart faith, Because I have faith.
As soon as I read the subject line I knew what it was going to be.
'ej DaH'e' SuSDaq choH vIjemlaHbejtaH,
Adverbials like {DaH} are not nouns and do not carry noun suffixes like {-'e'}.
tIq voqghach vIghajmo',
{voqghach} is as strange in Klingon as "trustness" is in English. It's usually better to use a verb as a verb instead of mangling it into the role of a noun. Here, consider {tIqwIj vIvoq}, or just {tIq vIvoq} when the meter wants fewer syllables. I might quibble about some of the choices of vocabulary or phrasing, but I try not to get too deep into that sort of thing when someone is translating poetry. -- ghunchu'wI'
On Jun 21, 2018, at 00:46, Rhona Fenwick <qeslagh@hotmail.com> wrote:
Too far? Hardly. I presume you're aware of the story behind the Klingon Hamlet. :P
What do you mean? Sure, perhaps the restoration of this classic work if Klingon literature wouldn’t have happened had we not been made aware of its existence by a one-off comment that cheng Sa' made over dinner, but I have faith of the heart that the truth about SeQpIr would have been revealed eventually.
On Jun 20, 2018, at 22:39, Alan Anderson <qunchuy@alcaco.net> wrote:
Adverbials like {DaH} are not nouns and do not carry noun suffixes like {-'e'}.
Ah, of course. I was just trying to capture the “right now” emphasis from the English version, but it’s not actually important, and it actually works better metrically without it. In any case, I realized after the fact that this translation combines two different verses. I was working from memory, and accidentally remembered pieces of the original Rod Stewart version rather than the version we know and love (or know and hate) from Enterprise. That line shouldn’t exist; maybe something like this should take its place: 'ej DaH tagha' chenchoH Hoch vInajpu'bogh And now finally everything I have dreamed about is beginning to take form
{voqghach} is as strange in Klingon as "trustness" is in English. It's usually better to use a verb as a verb instead of mangling it into the role of a noun. Here, consider {tIqwIj vIvoq}, or just {tIq vIvoq} when the meter wants fewer syllables.
I thought it would probably be awkward. I actually originally wrote “tIq vIvoqmo'” when I originally cranked out a translation without trying to make it fit the music, but then decided that this meant something more like “I’ve got faith in the heart”, i.e., the heart is something that I believe in. While this is a possible interpretation of “I’ve got faith of the heart”, the more immediate meaning that I get from that phrase is something along the lines of “the heart is the origin of my faith”. I suppose another possibility could be “tIqwIjmo' jIvoqlaH” (because of my heart I can trust”, but the faith is also supposed to be the reason for things). Or “tIqwIjvo' jIvoqmo'” (because I trust from my heart). Or going back to the “faith in the heart” reading, “qaSlaH tIq vIvoqmo'” (it can happen because I trust the heart).
I might quibble about some of the choices of vocabulary or phrasing, but I try not to get too deep into that sort of thing when someone is translating poetry.
I’d still be interested to hear the quibbles, if only to help my understanding of vocabulary nuance.
On 6/21/2018 8:19 AM, Daniel Dadap wrote:
I suppose another possibility could be “tIqwIjmo' jIvoqlaH” (because of my heart I can trust”, but the faith is also supposed to be the reason for things). Or “tIqwIjvo' jIvoqmo'” (because I trust from my heart). Or going back to the “faith in the heart” reading, “qaSlaH tIq vIvoqmo'” (it can happen because I trust the heart).
muvoqmoH tIq. -- SuStel http://trimboli.name
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