On Sat, Dec 2, 2017 at 9:14 PM, kechpaja <kechpaja@comcast.net> wrote:
Given how Klingon seems to work, I've been trying to avoid both {-ghach} and {-bogh} unless I decide that I really need them, since so many things (especially proverbs of this sort) that in English use nominalized verbs and relative clauses tend to skip them in Klingon.
I could have sworn there was canon about how {-ghach} itself was a marked suffix that draws attention to itself (which is why I mentioned avoiding it), but it looks like using {-ghach} without suffixes is what's marked ( http://klingonska.org/canon/1994-09-holqed-03-3-a.txt), and that {-ghach} itself seems to be fine. I thought I knew canon better than that. {Hu'tegh!} Anyway, sometimes using {-ghach} too much can suggest that you just got lazy and didn't try to think about your sentence, but there's nothing inherently wrong with it, especially if it's the best fit for your sentence. {-bogh} is wholly uncontroversial. A look through "The Klingon Way" shows plenty of relative clause s in proverbs.
I'm also trying to work around English-style phrasings such as "give something a flavor".
It's good to be aware of Englishisms in your translations, but I'm not sure "give something a flavor" is inherently too English-y. Flavor is a thing, and things can be given. It's a metaphorical sort of giving, maybe, but the whole expression is a metaphor. As an alternative to {nob}, {ghajmoH} is pretty basic but serviceable. I also like De'vID's suggestion of {chel}.
Qapla' 'eymoHbogh ghevI' 'oH lujlu'ghach'e'.
This is fine; it's pretty much the first thing I thought of. (I went with {lujpu'ghach'e'} myself, but {-lu'} also makes sense.)
Or maybe this:
Qapla' 'eymoHbogh ghevI' bIH Qaghmey'e'.
I may end up going with the last one; {Qagh} is about as close as Klingon has to a non-{-ghach} noun for "failure".
I wouldn't use {Qagh} "mistake" as a synonym for failure. {pIqarD HoD} says it better than I could: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TCX90yALsI (That's a pretty Klingon sentiment too... a first attempt at a translation: {Qaghbe'chugh vay', vabDot lujlaH vay'. puj 'oHbe'. yIn 'oH.}) You could get even shorter, depending on what parts of the original you're willing to drop and how much of the metaphor you want to leave implied: {Qapla' ghevI' 'oH lujpu'ghach'e'} "Failure is the sauce of success." {Qapla' 'eymoH lujpu'ghach'e'} "Failure makes success delicious." {lujpu'ghach jablu'DI' je reH QaQqu' Qapla' nay'} "Success is a dish best served with failure." (This has very little to do with the original phrasing, but the food metaphor made me want to riff on the familiar Klingon proverb.)