Oh, and I’ll add my intended meaning in English so you all can check my work (I’m leaving SuD untranslated, rather than saying blue/green/yellow every time):
On Jun 6, 2018, at 07:00, Daniel Dadap <daniel@dadap.net> wrote:
Oops, I forgot to put je after the verb again. I replaced two lines below, in the final verse:
On Jun 5, 2018, at 12:01, Daniel Dadap <daniel@dadap.net> wrote:
(muboQqu'mo' SuStel vItlho'qu'!)
mungwIj vengHom Dab loD qan, bIQ'a' lengchu'pu' ghaH net Sov. maHvaD yInDaj lut nuja', bIQ qoD Dujmey DaqDaq qaS Hoch.
An old man inhabited the village of my origin, It is known that he had completely traveled the ocean. He told us the story of his life, Everything happened in the place of water interior ships.
vaj bIQ'a'Daq jul wIghoS, bIQ SuD wISampu'DI' mamevpu' 'ej yu'egh bIngDaq maHtaH, bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'.
So on the water we approached the sun, When we found SuD water we stopped And we were below the waves, We perfectly inhabited our SuD water interior ship.
bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH. bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH.
Refrain: We are perfectly inhabiting our SuD water interior ship, We go in the ocean, we are on our ship [repeat last two lines]
matay' maH, juppu'ma' je, jIlpu'na'ma' chaH latlh law''e'. 'ej vogh QoQ muchchoHlu'pu'…
We and our friends are together, Many more are our true neighbors. And somewhere music begins to be performed…
[ QoQ muchlu'taH ] [ music is being performed ]
bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH. bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH.
(Refrain, we perfectly inhabit, etc.)
[ tujqu'choH QuQ. ] [ nughoS jagh. ] [ chay' jura? ] [ Qu'vatlh! ] [ batlh maHegh! ] [ cha yIghuS! ] [ So'wI' yIchu'Ha'! ] [ baH! ]
[ The engine is getting very hot. ] [ The enemy approaches us. ] [ How do you command us? ] [ %*#$@! ] [ We die with honor! ] [ Ready torpedoes! ] [ Disengage cloaking device! ] [ Fire! ]
'ej ngeDtaH- [ mayIntaHvIS ] -vIS yInmeymaj [ ngeDbej Hoch ], 'utbogh Dochmey, bIH [ naDev SaHbej ] Hoch DIghaj [ 'utbogh Doch ].
SuDbej chal, [ SuDbej chal. ] 'ej SuD bIQ'a’. [ SuD je bIQ. ] bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD [ SuD je Dujmaj. ] wIDabba'! [ pa' not ma'IQ! pebomqa'! Ha'! ]
(In this verse I’ll put the interleaved words on their own line because the reverse syntax of Klingon makes it awkward to interleave while keeping the translations in the same locations.) And while our lives are easy, [ While we live, everything is certainly easy. ] The necessary things, we have all of them. [ Things which are necessary are certainly present here. ] The sky is certainly SuD, and the ocean is SuD. [ The sky is certainly SuD. The water is SuD too. ] We obviously inhabit our SuD water interior ship! [ Our ship is SuD too. We are never sad there! Sing again! Let’s go! ]
bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH. bIQ qoD Dujmaj SuD wIDabchu'taH maH, bIQ'a'Daq majaH, DujmajDaq maHtaH.
(Refrain)
[ chaq 'o'megh luHutlhlaH tera' bommey, 'ach tlhIngan bommo' 'oH bomvam'e', 'o'meghqoq wIcherghQo'. vaj, rIn bomvam. pItlh. ]
[ Perhaps Terran songs can lack an 'o'megh, but because this song is a Klingon song, we will not tolerate a so-called 'o'megh. So, this song is finished. Done. ]
Notes about text in square brackets if anybody wants to record this (I might at some point, but I invite anybody else to do it if they get to it first):
For [ QoQ muchlu'taH ], this could perhaps be the brass band in the Terran version of this song, or it could be something like an excerpt from 'aqtu' mellota' je.
The dialog lifted from “Conversational Klingon” should be played one phrase per measure in the interlude between the second refrain and the final verse, timed with the bass drum beats. It would ideally be the original audio from the audiobook, heavily distorted to make it sound like its being spoken through a pipe, but if the pacing of the original audio isn’t suitable, or if there’s some other reason it doesn’t sound good, then it can be replaced with a new performance, with suitable audio distortion.
The text interleaved into the lines of the final verse should be performed with a distortion similar to the text in the interlude. It takes the place of the “echo” in the last verse of the Terran version of the song.
Rather than repeating the refrain ad infinitum and fading out, as with the Terran version, this song should have a definitive end, either with an abrupt cutoff, or an orchestra hit or something. The bit about an 'o'megh can be recited either after the music has finished, or while the instrumental track continues without vocals, to be followed by the end of the music. Or that part can be ignored, and the song can fade out with an 'o'meghqoq just like the Terran version. _______________________________________________ tlhIngan-Hol mailing list tlhIngan-Hol@lists.kli.org http://lists.kli.org/listinfo.cgi/tlhingan-hol-kli.org
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