[tlhIngan Hol] <<poSayDon>> vImughlI'

[SuStel]

On 1/14/2017 8:10 PM, Brian Cote wrote:
> roD bIQ yu'eghDaq lIgh, DuQwI' jeqbogh che'wI' nuH'e' 'ochtaHvIS,
> 'e' luHar ghot law'. 'ej vaj ghaH QeHqu'moH qechna'vam 'ej bI'reS
> Qu'DajvaD ghaH parqu'moH.
> >What irritated him most — and it was this that was chiefly responsible
> for his dissatisfaction with his job — was to hear of the conceptions
> formed about him: how he was always riding about through the tides
> with his trident.

I'm still having trouble following this; I think you're sticking too 
closely to the literal text and not thinking in Klingon about what it means.

/Many people believed he rode regularly on the water-waves, while 
holding /[I think you meant *'uch,* not *'och*] /the ruler's weapon 
which protrudes from spikes. And thus this definite idea made him very 
angry and it made the beginning of his job presentation very much dislike./

I'm pretty sure you got a couple of subjects and objects mixed up there.

Try taking this paragraph apart in English (or German) into the simplest 
sentences you can, and list them in bullet-points. Use these points to 
create your Klingon sentences.


> yuQ bIQ'a'Daq ba'taHvIS, SImtaH. 'e' 'oH ghu' teH'e'. rut yupItIr
> SuchmeH, leng poSayDon. 'e' 'oH DaltaHbe'ghachDaj neH'e'.
> motlh cheghtaHvIS, QeH.
> >When all the while he sat here in the depths of the world-ocean,
> doing figures uninterruptedly, with now and then a trip to Jupiter
> as the only break in the monotony — a trip, moreover, from which
> he usually returned in a rage.

*DaltaHbe'ghach*/break in the monotony/... very nice!

I'm not going to say that *'e' 'oH */something/*'e'* is necessarily 
wrong, but it feels wrong to me. You could replace the first one, for 
instance, with *ghu/' /teH 'oH ghu'vam'e'*/this situation is the true 
situation./ But really you could probably reduce this to using *-bej* in 
the sentence.

This paragraph is a little less convoluted than the first, but it could 
still use some working over.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name

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