[tlhIngan Hol] Experience and usage of jeS 'ej 'op SeQpIr

[Jeremy Silver]

Thanks for all the replies. After a fair amount of time (read most of the day) 
trying all the different combinations I could think of, for the text to place 
between the {SeQpIr DalaDtaHvIS bIjeSchu'be',} and the {DalaDpu'pa'.}
When I realised I was putting together long noun-phrases again (a sure sign 
I'm doing it wrong) I tried various options like:
{ghItlhDaj Hol wa'DIch mu'mey} with a {tlhIngan Hol 'oH Holvam'e'.} appended 
after that sentence.
or maybe:
{tlhIngan Hol lo'taHvIS ghItlh qonpu'bogh}
But those were a bit long-winded, so maybe:
{tlhIngan Hol ghItlh qonpu'bogh}
or maybe I'll finally settle on:
{qonDI' tlhIngan Hol mu'mey lo'bogh}.

Any preferences or interpretation / grammar errors?

DaH HolDaj wa'DIch 'op mu'mey'e' qonpu'bogh SeQpIr vImuch:

wa'leS, wa'leS, wa'leS, wa'leS'e' je;
jajvo' jajDaq QIt Do ramqu' lengtaH,
poH mu' Qav'e' qonlu'pu'bogh ghoStaH.
'ej qoHpu' wovmoHpu' Hoch wa'Hu'meymaj,
Hegh lam ghoSDI'. yIHegh, yIHegh, weQ ngaj.
yItbogh QIb 'oH neH yIn'e'. DawI' Do'Ha';
muchmeH ravDaq repDaj HemwI' Dabogh rejmorgh.
'ej ghIq, not Qoyqa'lu'. lut'e' 'oH. 
'oH ja'pu' qoH. 'oH buy'moH QeH, wab je. 
'ach pagh 'oS 'oH.