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>> mob qeylIS ngeng HeHDaq yIt
>> And Kahless was alone walking along the shore (PB)

> Should this be {mob ngeng HeHDaq yIt qeylIS} ?

The full stanza is:

mob qeylIS

ngeng HeHDaq yIt

SanDaj buS vaj 'It

The text of paq'batlh is mostly devoid of punctuation, but given both the grammar and the line breaks, it's probably safe to assume that the Klingon text of the first two lines could be divided as: {mob qeylIS. ngeng HeHDaq yIt. SanDaj buS, vaj 'It.}

A more literal translation of the Klingon text would probably be "Kahless was alone. He walked by the lake's shore."

You could also have {mob. ngeng HeHDaq yIt qeylIS.} ("He was alone. Kahless walked by the lake's shore.")

However, I think that's a bit less clear; Morath is also involved in this canto, so it's a good idea to clarify that you're talking about Kahless sooner rather than later.