mayqel, qatlho’.  I don’t have a lot of time now, but a couple of things caught my eye:

From: mayqel qunenoS
<  vaj, naDev chaHtaHvIS no'ma', chutmey'e' chenmoHta'bogh qeylIS lajchu'

<  so, while our ancestors were here, they followed the rules created by Kahless

no’ is grammatically singular.  So odd as it sounds, this should be naDev ghaHtaHvIS no’ma’ – although I suspect it’s a common enough mistake, which is likely why Okrand always warns against it:

TKD 3.3.2:  Inherently plural nouns are treated grammatically as singular nouns in that singular pronouns are used to refer to them (sections 4.1, 5.1). For example, in the sentence cha yIghuS Stand by torpedoes! or Get the torpedoes ready to be fired! the verb prefix yI-, an imperative prefix used for singular objects, must be used even though the object (cha torpedoes) has a plural meaning.

KGT 34:  Thus, the singular pronoun 'oH (it) is used for both jengva' (plate) and ngop (plates) in sentences such as nuqDaq 'oH jengva''e'? (Where is the plate?) and nuqDaq 'oH ngop'e'? (Where are the plates?).

KGT 178:   reH no' yIquvmoH Always honor your ancestors.

KGT 178:   yIquvmoH, Honor them! (actually, this is Honor him/her! ; the inherently plural noun no', ancestors, takes a singular pronoun).

<   Qo'noS puqpu', yISuvchuqQo'

<   children of kronos don't fight each other

Use the plural imperative prefix pe-  you (plural) [do something!] here:   peSuvchuqQo’! 

BTW note the difference a comma makes in English:

 Children of Kronos, don't fight each other!  (i.e. an order)

 Qo'noS puqpu', peSuvchuqQo'!

 Children of Kronos don't fight each other.  (i.e. a statement)

 Suvchuqbe' Qo'noS puqpu'.

Qapla’!

--
Voragh
Ca'Non Master of the Klingons