SuStel:

I believe you are misusing -jaj. It's not used to suggest a course of action;
it's used to express a wish or desire. DaH mu'tlhegh wInuDjaj means Now may it be that we examine the sentence.

{-jaj} vIlo'taHvIS, "now may it be that we examine the sentence"
jIjatlhpu' vIneH. chaq muSIghpu' 'elaDya' Hol.

But you're not trying to express a hope that maybe you'll get to examine the sentence, which is what -jaj does. You're signalling to the reader that you are, in fact, about to examine the sentence. (One might suggest that a Klingon would not even go that far and would just start describing the sentence. I'm not going to suggest that: there are reasonable literary reasons to signal to a reader what the upcoming topic is going to be that have nothing to do with politeness or wheel-greasing. Similarly, a Klingon who is impressed with your business transactions can say DaH matlhutlh instead of wordlessly dragging you off to a bar without warning.)

I think it's obvious that you have been influenced in this by another language. You say it's Greek; I'll tell you that English does exactly the same thing: Now let's examine the sentence.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name