<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div></div><div><br></div><div>On Jun 10, 2018, at 18:34, Alan Anderson <<a href="mailto:qunchuy@alcaco.net">qunchuy@alcaco.net</a>> wrote:<br><br></div><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr">Comments on vocabulary and grammar only:<div class="gmail_extra"><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Sun, Jun 10, 2018 at 6:32 PM, Daniel Dadap <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:daniel@dadap.net" target="_blank">daniel@dadap.net</a>></span> wrote:<br><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">HovHom, HovHom, yIbochchu'!<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>{boch} has always struck me as referring to the reflective kind of shininess. I would say {wew} "glow" instead, unless you'd be happy with another repetition of {wov} "be light, bright".<br><br></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Thanks, {wew} should work nicely. “Shiny” referring to reflectivity makes sense.</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><div>Verbs of quality like {boch} and {wov} are usually not used in imperatives without the suffixes {-'egh} and {-moH}. In the interest of meter, I don't mind them being left off, but you're basically invoking poetic license in order to do it.</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Okay, good to know. I think we can accommodate that without breaking meter by deleting one {HovHom}:</div><div><br></div><div>HovHom, yIwov'eghmoHchu'</div><div><br></div><div>Or if I understand correctly that {wew} is not a verb of quality, just substitute {wew} for {boch} in the original line.</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
nuq Dayugh 'e' vISIvqu'.<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>"What you are" is not a question, so {nuq} is not appropriate. Find a way to use {-bogh} instead. For example: {Hap Dayughbogh vISIvqu'} "I very much wonder about the matter you consist of."</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Thanks, that works well. (I also realize I mistranslated in my English translation; I was originally working with something like 'e' vIsov vIneH.)</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">vaj ram Hoch bIwov net Sov.<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>{ram Hoch} is a period of time, but that's not how you used it. For "all night" you really ought to say {qaStaHvIS ram}. To make it fit the rhythm, perhaps {ram DawovmoHtaH net Sov}.</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Thanks for the suggestion; that works well. Could you give an example of how to use {ram Hoch} correctly?</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
taw HurghDaq lengwI' Dutlho',<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>{lengwI'} is the subject and needs to come last. This verse is going to need to be rearranged to make everything work together.</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Oops, that was sloppy and certainly unintentional. You can tell I haven’t fully internalized OVS yet.</div><div><br></div><div>If the following sentence {Quchqu' ghaH bIwovchu'mo'} isn’t problematic, the fix could be as simple as:</div><div><br></div><div>taw HurghDaq Dutlho' lengwI',</div><div>Quchqu' ghaH bIwovchu'DI'.</div><div><br></div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">
chal SuD 'ej HurghDaq SoHtaH,<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>You can say {SuD chal 'ej Hurgh}, but you can't use two adjectival verbs like that. You'd need to say {SuDbogh chal 'ej Hurghbogh}, or give one of the verbs a different primacy with {SuDbogh chal Hurgh} or {Hurghbogh chal SuD}.</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Yeah, I kind of had a feeling that wouldn’t work. The sky can just be dark without also being SuD:</div><div><br></div><div>HovHom, chal HurghDaq SoHtaH</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex">ram bIwov 'e' not Damev,<br></blockquote><div><br></div><div>There's a good argument for preferring the order {not 'e'} instead. (The canon counterexample has other problems that make it less compelling than it could be.)</div><div> </div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div>Okay, another easy fix; thanks. Do you mind spelling out the argument in better detail, for my enlightenment?<div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><div><br>Your ability to hit the triple targets of meaning, rhyme, and meter is impressive. I almost regret breaking such good work by pointing out problems elsewhere.<br><br></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote><div><br></div><div>Thanks, and have no regrets; this is exactly the sort of feedback I need to verify the accuracy of my mental model of the language. It’s easy to put back together after it’s broken; working within the constraints of those targets is part of what makes this so much fun.</div><div><br></div><div>I’m doing this mostly as a self-teaching exercise, and I fully expect to make a few mistakes as I push the boundaries of my understanding. I truly appreciate the micro-lessons on imperatives involving stative verbs, not being able to use question words as general pronoun-like things, two-verb colors, and placing temporal markers before the previous topic pronoun.</div><br><blockquote type="cite"><div><div dir="ltr"><div class="gmail_extra"><div class="gmail_quote"><div>-- ghunchu'wI'</div></div></div></div>
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