[tlhIngan Hol] 'op jajmey..

[SuStel]

On 2/14/2020 10:17 AM, mayqel qunen'oS wrote:
> ghunchu'wI'
> > When you translate the “impersonal you”
> > literally, Klingon grammar makes it seem
> > that you are accusing the reader of doing
> > something.
>
> Is this based on Ca'Non, or is it just your personal 
> interpretation/perception ?
>
> Because, I don't feel it functioning the way you suggest it does.

There is evidence of using the second person as a sort of impersonal in 
Klingon. For example, *pIpyuS pach DaSop DaneHchugh pIpyuS puS 
DaghornIS*/If you want to eat pipius claw, you'll have to break a few 
pipiuses./ (TKW) While this COULD be justified by saying "Nonono, I'm 
specifically telling you, my listener, that YOU need to break a few 
pipiuses," I'm feel confident that this isn't what was intended. It's a 
proverb, meant impersonally. We're even given the more person version, 
which is phrased as an imperative.

However, I agree with ghunchu'wI' that you're overdoing it. You're not 
just using the occasional second-person reference in a way that would 
let the reader personalize it to themselves. You're strongly calling out 
*SoH* as the main viewpoint of the piece, telling them what they're 
doing and thinking.

If your text isn't meant to be directed to a specific *SoH* (even if 
that *SoH* is the reader of the text), but is instead about a general 
state of things, you should express it that way in the Klingon. 
Indefinite subject helps a lot, though don't overdo that either. You can 
just leave out all the second-person references. You can talk about 
*nuv*/a person/ or *vay'* /someone /instead of *SoH*/you./

For example, you don't need to say *ghe''or jaH yInlIj Hoch*/Your whole 
life goes to Gre'thor/ when you can say *ghe''or jaH yIn*/Life goes to 
Gre'thor./ (I'm not sure I would translate that idiom literally, by the 
way.)

On a completely different subject, and I hope you don't mind the 
criticism, it would help readability if you grouped your sentences in 
thematically related paragraphs. Come up with a topic sentence for a 
paragraph, then expand with supporting sentences. When you want to 
describe a new topic, begin a new paragraph.

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name

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