[tlhIngan Hol] Thoughts on mu'qaS veS

[mayqel qunenoS]

There is a school of thought in tlhIngan Hol learners, which says: Since
you chose to learn a constructed language, you need to get “in-character”;
you need to get the “feeling of this language”, by letting go of your
native-language-habit, of insulting someone by the use of sexually-oriented
words which would concern his mother.

After all - this school of thought continues -, perhaps klingons wouldn’t
find anything sexual offensive; perhaps they would be way more offended by
the sound of {yIH muSHa’wI’} rather than “cocks***r”.

I can partly understand this school of thought, at least as far as
cosplaying is concerned. After all, during cosplay, one could expect
klingons to express terran concepts, to the same degree one would expect
orcs from the lord of the rings, to talk about phasers, photon torpedoes,
and warp drives..

However, the extent of my willingness to agree with this school of though
ends, the moment cosplay clothes are taken off, and real life begins.

Klingon obviously started as the language of the fictitious star trek
warrior race, however not all of the
real-life-actually-breathing-on-this-earth people, learn it for the purpose
of understanding star trek dialogues.

And some of us don't even like klingons to start with..

So, here comes the second school of thought, that says: Klingon should at
least have the vocabulary to construct the mu’qaD veS phrases needed in
actual everyday life.

And I always counted myself among the people of the second group..

I’m really sorry (actually not at all..), but I could never stop being
irritated by the argument “klingons would never use this or that”. It is
the money-laundering equivalent for “how do we justify the obvious
inadequacies ? lets say, klingons would never say that”.

And what irritates me is, that the vocabulary needed to construct real-life
mu’qaD veS, should already exist.

Lets talk about the vocabulary which concerns procreation..

We already have bogh, yatlh, nga’chuq.. But do we have a word for “penis” ?
No.. Do we have a word for “vagina” ? No again..

For a baby to be born, first something needs to enter something.. And after
a while, the baby has to come out of somewhere..

And it isn’t like I’m saying “we should have the vulgar versions of the
male/female reproductive systems”; we could make due with the
medical/scientific terms, as is the case with lay.

Unfortunately though, klingon lacks these words, although we do have
numerous words which describe the various body parts. So, I wonder.. Why is
that ? Are we some kind of underaged children, who must at all costs never
hear the f-word, let alone use it ?

Or is it perhaps, that klingon mothers vuj their babies through their
Sa’HutDu’, so there is no need for words which would describe their
reproductive systems ?

Sovba' qeylIS neH.. qeylIS neH..

~ channgan qIj
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