[tlhIngan Hol] vengDaq, vengmeyDaq je

[Brent Kesler]

This is a sentence I came up with:

     vengDaq, vengmeyDaq je qaSchoHtaH Daw'mey.


This is the sentence I'm trying to translate:

     "So revolutions broke out in city after city [...]"


I think my translation works. I'm willing to sacrifice some literal
accuracy for poetic effect, and I think this strikes the right balance.
(I'm even bold enough to say it has an Okrandian feel to it.) My question
is whether anyone else could make sense of my phrasing before I said what
it meant.

Thanks,
bI'reng
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