[tlhIngan Hol] <<poSayDon>> continued

[Brian Cote]

I've re-read your comments a few times and I really don't have any
questions. Everything you wrote makes sense to me. I'll take some
time next week to work over the second part again and let you take
another look at it.

I've submitted a few comments of my own re: your comments
on my first draft.

{ej Qu'Daj'e' yonHa'choHghachDaj meq wa'DIch 'oH je ghu'vam'e' --
ghaH yIvqu'choHlu'.}

With {Qu'Daj'e'} I was trying to topicalize it. And by trying to do that,
completely overlooked that I really didn't need to.

Yoursentence: {'ej Qu' yonHa'ghachDaj'e' meqvam ngoy' law'
Hoch ngoy' puS.}

I really like it. I think I was a little scared of the Klingon comparative
myself.

With {ba'bejtaHvIS} I was trying to convey the "when all the while"
at the start of the sentence: "When all the while he sat here in the depths
of the world-ocean ..." In that it points to what is really happening, as
opposed
to what people merely thought was happening.

"There is a subtle difference between using *legh* and *leghpu'* in the
first line. *pIjHa' bIQ'a' legh poSayDon* means /Poseidon rarely sees
the s//ea//"

With {legh} vs {leghpu'} I'll have to think over it carefully. Both
possibilities
are true in the story.

Your sentence: {bIQ'a' HeH gheghDaq ba'taH poSayDon 'ej tamtaH.
pa' SaHmo' poSayDon mIStaH bo'Degh 'ej gho ngaDHa' ghoStaH puvtaHvIS.}

I like it!

QImSIr
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