[tlhIngan Hol] We got words for a Spiral, now what to do with them...

[SuStel]

On 8/9/2017 5:57 AM, Jeremy Silver wrote:
> {mubechmoH ghaH'e'. mubechmoH 'ej vIghaj.
> ghaH vIjeghpa'*Nibia*  maSmey retlhDaq,*Antares*  vertaHbogh vIHtaHghach'a'
> retlhDaq, ghe''or qulmey retlhDaq je vItlha'!}

*mubechmoH ghaH'e'.*

Khan's line is /He tasks me./ I've always assumed this refers to Kirk 
exiling Khan to Ceti Alpha V. *muvummoH.* I see no reason for the 
*ghaH'e'* here; it doesn't reflect the English original.

*mubechmoH 'ej vIghaj.*

There is no indication in this what you mean by *vIghaj.* It just means 
/I had/have/will have him/her/it./ I also don't know if the English 
idiomatic meaning of /get in my power/ comes through, or the /therefore/ 
sense of English /and./ I'd recast this whole thing as *muvummoH; vaj 
vIghatlh.*

You put the *ghaH vIjeghpa'* at the beginning of the long sentence, but 
Khan put it at the end in his English. You should do the same to reflect 
his emphasis. Subordinate clauses can go on either side of the sentence.

I don't think *jegh* means the /let go/ sense of English /surrender;/ it 
means /stop trying./ You could just say *jIjeghpa'* /before I give up,/ 
or you could be more literal and say *nargh 'e' vIchaw'pa'*/before I let 
him escape./

/*Nibia*/*maSmey retlhDaq*

Hey, I asked for /around/ from Okrand and everybody said "But what does 
that mean?" This is what it means. *wejpuH.*

I'd probably do this as /*Nibia*/*maSmey HayDaq*/to the area beyond 
Nibia's moons./

/*Antares*/*vertaHbogh vIHtaHghach'a'*

I'm not fond of this; it looks like a very forced *-ghach*. How about 
just saying /*Antares*/*mI'rab'a'?*

The end result:

*muvummoH. muvummoH; vaj vIghatlh. /Nibia/ maSmey HayDaq, /Antares/ 
mI'rab'a' HayDaq, ghe''or qul HayDaq je vItlha' jIjeghpa'.*

-- 
SuStel
http://trimboli.name

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